That’s right. This will be my last author event! Or, at least, it will be for the next several years. I’m a one-woman show who plans, pays for, and executes on everything pertaining to my book signings, and because I’m serious about completing my next book within the next few years, I’ve decided to redirect all my spare time and energy toward finishing that book rather than hosting more events.
Not that people are clamoring for more events, though. I wish! In fact, I was deflated the past day or two because many people who’d originally planned to come no longer can. I anticipate the turnout to be much smaller than my previous event.
You might have also seen my mopey, screaming-into-the-void Instagram post in which I went into great detail about how demoralized I am because of my gym injuries. These injuries along with the waning number of guests for my final event had me feeling grey and heavy, like a cloud preparing to cry out a storm.
Gym injuries make me feel like I’m failing all my fitness goals. A slow and steady pace often feels like falling behind the rest of the pack rather than resting to heal. I feel jealous when I watch my classmates using joints and limbs that I cannot or sweating from the maximum effort I wish that I, too, could exert.
Worst of all, though, is the feeling of experiencing yet another major physical setback after the multiples losses and setbacks Albert and I endured during our infertility journey. I thought my journey was over. I thought that I could have a normal body again. And yet, here I am. Injured. Compromised. Unable to do the things I want to do with my body. Again.
But after talking to friends, praying, and reflecting, I realized that it’s not at all as bad as it seems. When I look back on the past two or so years, I’m way further along in my fitness and health journey that I ever imagined I’d be. There had been times during our infertility journey that I could barely walk because of all the drugs I was on. In fact, there were times I thought I wouldn’t be able to walk or even breathe normally again.
But thanks to hard work in the gym, I was able to reach my goal of getting my health back. That alone is a huge, momentous win that I can celebrate for the rest of my life.
I’ve also learned the joy of the mental game that goes hand-in-hand with physical training.
Gym injuries happen to everyone. If you push your body, you’re going to injure it in some kind of way eventually, even if you’re pushing it in a constructive way. But the important thing is to stay calm, get creative, and find ways to sustain and even improve your training despite setbacks. You need to dig deep and endure.
You’d be surprised at how much mental fortitude it takes to show up at the gym day in and day out and to keep trying even when you can’t train as intensely as everyone else. When your body gets injured, it is your mind that you must train in order to keep moving forward.
And move forward I shall. I may not be hitting my goals as quickly as I’d like, but forward is still forward. The good that will come out of all this bad is that I will practice and, therefore, grow skilled in patience, and in the process, I will grow as a person, which is even more important than improving my health and physique.
The same applies to my book event. Do I feel like calling off the event and crumbling into a tearful mess?
Honestly, yes. I do.
But I will not.
Because the important thing is to do what I said I’d do and learn to be grateful for what I do have. I have people who are willing to come out to see me, and those people matter. And it is for those people that I will continue working day and night up until the day of the event itself to create the best agenda possible. I want to continue training my mind to be service oriented. This event shouldn’t be about me petting my own ego. It should be a celebration in which everyone who was nice enough to come out has a fun time. It doesn’t matter if it’s two people or two hundred. I will value each person.
I hope you can make it out to my event, my dear reader! It's only a week away! But even if you don’t, I hope my journey can inspire you to keep enduring and trying your best in life whether or not you have setbacks that threaten to dampen your spirits.